Leadership Council's Child Abuse and Custody Questionnaire

Found this at UAADV News Blog

The Leadership Council is conducting a survey about Child Abuse and Custody.  If you fit into a category where either of those pertain to you, I urge you to take this survey.  Below is a little about it.  It takes about 20 to 30 minutes.  Without people doing the research to show that laws need to be revamped, changed or new ones all together......these laws will remain and abuse will continue to reign, with very little consequences to the abusers.  Please pass this on to anyone else you think may be interested in taking this survey.  Any bloggers out there?  Blog it too, please!

Long URL:  https://www.leadershipcouncil.org/survey/index.php?ch=d88fc6edf21ea464d35ff76288b84103
Short URL:  http://bit.ly/3hf6hB

The responses on this questionnaire will be reviewed and tabulated regularly to supply information to the media, legislators and academic investigations.

The information you post is confidential and will be reviewed only by the researchers and administrators who are working with the data. It cannot be accessed by the public, and as research data is protected information.

The information from this questionnaire will be utilized for the purpose of furthering our understanding of child protection issues. Group trends will be shared, but no individual data will be shared without explicit permission from you.

Thank you very much for your efforts in helping us generate information that may protect children from abuse.

The Leadership Council is a nonprofit independent scientific organization composed of respected scientists, clinicians, educators, legal scholars, and public policy analysts. We are committed to providing professionals and lay persons with the latest scientific information on issues that may affect the public's health and safety. We also seek to correct the misuse of psychological science to serve vested interests or justify victimizing vulnerable populations -- especially abused and neglected children.  The Leadership Council - Homepage

Abusers Use the Court System to Continue Victimization

This is a copy of the speech written by Gail Lakritz and given today by Angela Warren at the Pueblo Colorado Conference. This speech was given to judges, police, lawyers and DV advocates.
How Abusers Use The Court System To Continue to Victimize Their Partners and Children
When a woman finally makes that decision to end the abuse and to flee the abusive situation, she rightfully expects that the police, her lawyers and the courts will protect her and her children from further harm. Being a member of the Sheriff's Posse, that is what I was thought. After all, the courts always operate solely by the law, correct? (Scan audience for nods of agreement) We all know that does not happen and that is why I was so confused by my litigation. When injustice reared its ugly head, it flew in the face of everything I thought our country stood for, and, as with most victims of abuse, I came to realize that the system is stacked against the victim.
Today, I want

Remember When...part 1

*Trigger Warning*

A touch, a smell, a sound; sometimes even the faintest glimpse from the corner of the eye, can bring back a memory as if it happened five minutes ago.  A memory so deeply buried the mind no longer remembers the original happening, until that brief moment in time which yanks that memory to the fore-front of all thought.
Cooper...I taste bitter copper.  Oh, I’m not crazy.  That’s right I almost forgot, that is the taste of my own blood pooling in my mouth after being punched for I don’t know what this time.  My tongue running around my teeth, they are all still there!  Feeling a great relief at this!
Tentatively I open mouth a little, cool my jaw still works, so probably not broken.  My face is sore and stiff but it seems to all be working properly.  Blink.  Can’t.  Wait, what...can’t blink.  My hands are frantically searching my face for what is stopping my eye, just the left one, from working. 
Blood.  Is that from my nose, mouth....eye?  Get up.  Need to see a mirror, assess the damage done this time.  Slowly pulling myself to my hands and knees, oh my head is aching so bad.  I would rather just lay here.  NO!  I have to get up, make sure I am ok, get my self cleaned up.  I swore this would never happen again.
Head spinning, but I’m up!  Walking with an unsteady gait to the bathroom.  Look in the mirror...who is THAT?!?  That isn’t me!  WOW, this is way worse than last time.  Wonder what I did?  Ok, get in the shower, clean off the blood.  I scrub so hard, trying to make it all go away.
The more I scrub the more the memory (oh that illusive little thing) comes back.  Scrub harder so it goes away too.  Cry.  For here and only here are my tears hidden from view.
Back to the mirror.  Front door clicks.  Heart stops. 
Oh, it’s nothing.  Just my boyfriend, he was out, and brought me flowers.  Oh how nice.  I can go make dinner now and everything is fine.  I still can’t see from my left eye, though...that’s weird.
Inside my head everything is weird I guess.  I’m screaming....WHAT DID I DO?  Oh that’s right, I’m a lazy cow.  I remember now, while I am pulling a pan from the cabinet to start dinner.  How dumb of me to want to change from my work clothes when I got home, before I started dinner. 
How could I be so stupid as to think that maybe, just maybe since he wasn’t working he could have started dinner. 
Hands on my back.  Kisses on my neck.  Skin crawling.
I turn around.  Expecting...what I do not know.
Flash back to reality...I find gentle open arms, waiting to hold me...while I remember when...

How does DV effect children

I have submitted an article to Anonymiss for the Nov. 09 edition of their blog carnival.  They asked me to post this on my blog so that others would know about this edition in time to send in an article.

Nov 2009 DV Blog Carnival- How does DV effect children

Posted October 8, 2009

The Domestic Violence Blog Carnival that we set up is now accepting article submissions for the edition that will be posted on November 2nd 2009.

This editions theme is The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children.  To submit an article please visit the submission page:  http://blogcarnival.com/bc/submit_8381.html.  The November edition will be hosted here at Anonymiss.

To view last months edition please visit the UAADV News Blog Domestic Violence Blog Carnival October 2009

If you have a suggestion for an upcoming theme or would like to host the blog carnival for an upcoming month, please send an email to: contactanonymiss@gmail.com with your suggestoins.

Nov 2009 DV Blog Carnival- How does DV effect children - anonymiss

Effects of abuse on the Children

After a conversation I had the other day with a friend I decided to look more into the different effects that Domestic Violence has on children.   There is no doubt in my mind that it harms them in various ways.  We were just discussing the different ways that is does.

We were also discussing the fact that there is a tendency to compartmentalize the issues.  Many people, including some advocates, try to keep Domestic Violence as an adult issue.  However, I feel that it affects the children as well, and can not be just an adult issue to deal with.  All aspects have to be looked at and considered.

I wanted to come up with a comprehensive list of the differing effects and in my search to do so I found a fairly decent list, so decided to just give that list rather than trying to create another.

I found this list at:  Women’s Rural Advocacy Programs

• Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may "indirectly" receive injuries. They may be hurt when household items are thrown or weapons are used. Infants may be injured if being held by the mother when the batterer strikes out.
• Older children may be hurt while trying to protect their mother.
• Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may experience cognitive or language problems, developmental delay, stress-related physical ailments (such as headaches, ulcers, and rashes), and hearing and speech problems.
• Many children in homes where domestic violence occurs have difficulties in school, including problems with concentration, poor academic performance, difficulty with peer interactions, and more absences from school.
• Boys who witness domestic violence are more likely to batter their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes. There is no evidence, however, that girls who witness their mothers' abuse have a higher risk of being battered as adults.
• Taking responsibility for the abuse.
• Constant anxiety (that another beating will occur) and stress-related disorders.
• Guilt for not being able to stop the abuse or for loving the abuser.
• Fear of abandonment.
• Social isolation and difficulty interacting with peers and adults.
• Low self-esteem.
• Younger children do not understand the meaning of the abuse they observe and tend to believe that they “must have done something wrong.” Self-blame can precipitate feelings of guilt, worry, and anxiety.
• Children may become withdrawn, non-verbal, and exhibit regressed behaviors such as clinging and whining. Eating and sleeping difficulty, concentration problems, generalized anxiety, and physical complaints (such as headaches) are all common.
• Unlike younger children, the pre-adolescent child typically has greater ability to externalize negative emotions. In addition to symptoms commonly seen with childhood anxiety (such as sleep problems, eating disturbance, nightmares), victims in this age group may show a loss of interest in social activities, low self-concept, withdrawal or avoidance of peer relations, rebelliousness and oppositional-defiant behavior in the school setting. It is also common to observe temper tantrums, irritability, frequent fighting at school or between siblings, lashing out at objects, treating pets cruelly or abusively, threatening of peers or siblings with violence, and attempts to gain attention through hitting, kicking, or choking peers and/or family members. Girls are more likely to exhibit withdrawal and run the risk of being “missed” as a child in need of support.
• Adolescents are at risk of academic failure, school drop-out, delinquency, substance abuse, and difficulties in their own relationships.

This whole discussion came about because I saw that the Domestic Violence Blog Carnival started by Anonymiss is discussing this as the theme for the November Edition of the Carnival.